Introducing the Hardline According To
     ...Ofer Maimon

Not brown not blue and certainly not green her eyes are black mirrors they mirror anything and everything the deep dark green valleys of her Kentucky childhood banjos clear frosty mornings and mountain blues Florida alligator poaches and swamp hues her eyes are black mirrors desolate trucker stop motels at midnight Delancey street in NYC at first sunlight over Williamsburg bridge The one time somebody called her “nigger” and meant it. Her first miscarriage. Her only daughter born. To a man that went to Iraq. Signed on the day after 9/11 and never came back. She misses his smile and his hands trough her hair. brown hands Not brown not blue and certainly not green her eyes are black mirrors the rainbows in my heart as I walk up to her. So I walk up to her.

It´s like a whip in in these project nights as if these high rise concrete buildings where the window lights go out one by one like a whiplash to them skies above in diamond pillars going out as if we were never meant to go any further as we had no choice but to turn the lights out and never ask for anything but sleeping subway trains and closing hot dog stands as if this was all we were promised as we were never more than slaves born only to wake up with the alarm clock siren to another day in the machine making machine As if my patrons of the diesel dunking heart rain shine arteries were never there as if the shining neon snakes that wriggle through the nights of ice to warmth to harbor as if those dawns were never there as if my kingdom of the destitute, the homeless and the drunk were not your fears and punch clock worries as if they did not not guard the tired, lost and weary  As if she wouldn´t  once the kids asleep

So last Thursday I took a day off from work and spent said day stressing and sweating and cursing behind the wheel of a rented Citroën Berlingo, moving myself and my belongings out of Jerusalem´s Old Jewish quarter to the Hatikvah neighborhood in Tel Aviv. Arguing with different fiefs to have a rented car allowed into the Rova is no mean feat, and once allowed in, navigating it´s hair pin alleys and plazas among a million Israeli school trip teens, German sight seers and grumpy charedi soon-to-be-ex neighbors is nobody´s idea of a sinecure either. Or being stuck in traffic 45 minutes just to get back onto Highway 1 for the return trip to Tel Aviv for that matter. Civilized mouse trap..... In any case It´s done. The week leading up to the move went in the sign of bloody murder. It seems the future tenant of my dump in the Rova has a phobia towards the rodent species, and hence my land lady ordered me to buy mouse traps and get rid of the problem. Not sure why she considered this to

Blogger is kindly supplying me with stats for my blog. This is nice. However. The two blog posts that by far get the most amount of traffic are: 1) Shul bevaiour and pot smoking and 2) What is the problem with men Seeing as I work in SEO (Search Engine Optimization for those of you who lived under a rock the last 7 years), I can´t really understand this – how many pot heads worry about shul behavior enough to google for it? A tip from the coach: DO NOT be a pot head! That simple. You will eventually become very stupid, and on top of that achieve a very dark and gloomy outlook on the world and Hashem´s creation. If you have to light up, do it once a month. Tops. The other question that arises - are we men really that bad to have that many women trying out the Internet for an answer to what the hell we are up to? That would explain why lately it has become almost impossible for me even to get a date:-) So....if you you are a man and feel that article is anywhere close to ho

Time flies when you are having fun, and well, when you are not having so much fun too. It´s soon been two years since I moved to Israel, and I just turned one year at the office, and the staff has grown with almost 100% since. Affiliate marketing for the online casino business do seem to be the new shit. Other than that I´ve moved to the Old City of Jerusalem, something I stupidly decided to do via collective traffic means which resulted in 2 weeks of schlepping stuff from Beer Sheva to the office and then to Jerusalem after work and then back to Beer....well you get the idea. Bad idea. Don´t. Below some action points since....November. Shame on me. * They have a Light Festival in the Old City currently. So they build this huge cupola of differently colored neon lights outside Jaffa Gate. And hung weird light decorations everywhere, including a huge spinning cork screw outside in green neon outside the rebuilt Hurva synagogue. This festival seem completely Ad hoc. Probably initiated

I'm not even gonna try to say something eloquent to excuse the lack of updates on this blog. Suffice to say I've been busy, primarily with my day time work at Webpals  as Content Writer, but lately also with setting up websites to drive traffic to a friends online shop for Swedish Snus, and hence trying to get a better grip on SEO as well as website building. If any one should want to ponder the results so far you find them here and here respectively. So far this latter engagement has only cost me money, but then again, if a few thousand Israelis could get it into their heads to quit smoking, it might be worth it. Other than that. * Politics here in the Middle East has been a complete mess for almost a year, and commenting on it would require full time dedication. Suffice to say they started handing out gas masks to government employees. Everything is pointing to war, but there are many theories as to when, why and who. Even western media has started writing about what