Skip to main content

Personals Ad

"Hi there!
I'm happy you found my profile! Please sit back and let me introduce myself and my world!

People often tell me that what strikes them the most about me is my bubbly personallity, my eye to detail and my pure, intrinsic evil. My closest "friends" often describe me as unintelligent, but with a well developed sneakyness that gains me insight into peoples weaknesses and an understanding of how to exploit them. I'm also known to be cheap and and as a man who rather bite his head off than pay for dinner. Some would probably point out my creepyness. Others have actually had the gaul to kvetch about my personal hygiene, looks, smell, and so on.

Professionally I'm a bit of a failure I'm afraid, seing as I just got fired, but I have high hopes of tricking my insurance company into paying a few months of dole, so I might be able to pay rent for the charming studio basement apartment I'm renting in South Bronx. I have been able to hold down several jobs for long stretches of time though, but they all ended as soon as my prison term was up, and in all honesty they didn't pay very well.

However - other peoples seething hatred for my person is easily balanced by my megalomanic and undying love for myself. Every thought, smirk or even word I bestow upon the general public I consider an act of bevevolent and loving kindness. And as they say - If you don't love your self, how can you possibly love somebody else? Hence there is no limit to my capacity for love!!!!"

So....sometimes I get a bit tired of all the streamlined copy writing on Frumster and other dating sites.....meh!!

Comments

  1. AlSeptember 30, 2009 at 7:58 PM

    Hi! It's Allison, long time, no Facebook. I miss our debates. And I love this post, it is pretty funny. Are you in New York? What's this about an apartment in the South Bronx?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ofer MaimonOctober 2, 2009 at 12:11 AM

    Nope.....picked SB because it is a well known run down neighbourhood, one that I also like a lot:-) So you are taking an FB break?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AlOctober 2, 2009 at 4:33 AM

    Yes. I took a job that will not allow FB or public networking. I can't believe you are not really here! I wanted to hang out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Clas le PetitOctober 14, 2009 at 11:47 PM

    Haven't seen such amount of bum erangs in a long time :D

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What is the problem with men?

I'm in a bad mood. Fed up. With men. To be clear: I'm not a feminist, I don't believe men to have a rape gene or to be incapable of acting decently due to sociological constraints, general upbringing or an in general evil manhood into which we are socialised. Never the less, I'm truly fed up with the way certain men behave towards women. Part of the reasons are purely egoistic: I'm fed up with being treated like a potential moron, molester or rapist. I'm tired of noticing how women ahead start speeding up when I'm quietly walking home at night, and having too slow down or change sidewalks not to scare her. And a few months ago in New York City I was unable to get a girl to date me, to even meet me in a restaurant, partly because of her previous encounters with inconsiderate schmucks and madmen. Instead we talked on the phone for some 8 (!) hours, half of which was devoted to her interrogating me as to whether I was a stalker, madman, alcoholic or something o...
9 comments
Read more

Hebrew grammar

So yesterday went by fairly uneventfully. In keeping with my self-diciplinary ideas I cooked my own dinner instead of going for Schwarma, and then ate it with Quentin. I also managed to spend large part of my post Ulpan day in the company of the future tense verbs of binyan Paal. And I'm starting to grasp them which means I'm back where I was the last time I took my Hebrew studies seriously, 5 years ago. I also waisted my time debating a fairly nasty letter that the NGO Women at the Wall had directed to the Israeli government and the general public. They were basically describing Orthodox people as a screaming, feces-throwing mob, while disingenuously seeking monopoly for their own brand of Judaism. I fail to understand why feminist Reformniks, who make a point of breaking every Hallacha they come across, feel it absolutely necessary to imitate prescribed Orthodox and male behavior in the one place in the world where it will be seriously hurtful - the Western Wall. Then again...
2 comments
Read more